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Haven't posted in a while I know.

I'm jealous of that cigar
If anyone still follows this blog...just so you know. I'm around. I hope that you all are well. Give me a call sometime.

This interview between Cornel West and Craig Ferguson is television at its finest. I love Ferguson. I don't get to watch him very often, but he's supplanted Conan as my favorite late night talk show host.


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I haven't posted in a while

I'm jealous of that cigar
So far, life is good.

I've returned to school to pick up some credits in math and science because I'm thinking of changing fields. After many years, I finally decided to face my fear regarding both of those subjects and I've done well in both so far, but I still have a long way to go. I should be done by around the end of next year. My progress feels so slow, but I feel more confident than I did before. I haven't had any bouts of depression or doubt recently. I still realize that I have a lot of progress to make as a person, but I no longer feel so debilitated by an awareness of my defects. I think that my experiences in school and work have taught me that I can overcome obstacles, but I need to trust myself. To paraphrase Jean Vanier we envy people out of ignorance or a lack of faith in our own gifts and I think that statement is very true. I've often struggled with envy because I disliked myself for not being as successful as other people, but now I find it easier to be happy for other people...even when they're better off than I am.

I try to make up for my defects by reading as much as I can. I'm still addicted to fiction, particularly English and Russian literature, but I picked up some more philosophy; Betrand Russell and Plato, but regardless of how much I read I still feel hopelessly ignorant. I want to be a better critical thinker. I did see a textbook for $24 titled The Power of Critical Thinking because in addition to watching the news I read some feminist and anti-racist blogs. I figured it would be better if I borrowed it from the library. When it comes to learning I don't think my journey will ever be complete. Gradually, I'm learning to rethink the way I view learning; it's something that takes continuous and conscious effort. When I was younger I stupidly believed that if I was truly intelligent I would learn by osmosis. I was afraid to work hard because I wanted to be special and brilliant and brilliant people didn't have to work at anything; they just absorbed knowledge. Perhaps people like this really do exist, but I'm not one of them. I have to work and there's no shame in that. Those speshul snowflake days are gone.

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Jun. 25th, 2009

Why so serious?
RIP Michael Jackson.

May. 23rd, 2009

light my fire, baby
My Marvel OTP: Wolverine/Storm. I'm going to have to start reading more of Uncanny X-Men since that's the main storyline. At the moment I'm following Ultimate X-Men and I've recently bought Volumes 1&2 of X-Men: The Animated Series (not that Evolution tripe. The one that we grew up with, folks. Remember?) But I've seen some pictures of Wolverine and Storm together and they seem to have an incredible relationship. I know that Storm is currently married to Black Panther and it makes sense since they are both very powerful characters, politically and otherwise that share a history. Even so, I love Wolverine and Storm together.

Storm/Logan X-men episode under the cutCollapse )

May. 14th, 2009

it's all a joke
You all need to read this incredible post about the new Star Trek movie and Uhura. It confirms much of what I've felt in other fandoms concerning female characters and different kinds of strength. And I love her analysis of the, umm, surprise couple.

Star Treking in Search of a Strong Female Character by Jha'Meia

May. 7th, 2009

I'm jealous of that cigar
Ganked from ew_younerd

My fool-proof fictional kinks are:

The Loner

This is an archetype that I've always loved, but it has to be handled well. This character often shown as being superior to the rest of society/the other characters in someway (ie; he is very sensitive, intelligent, more moral) therefore he is isolated from everybody else. I hate it when the loner is some Gary-Stu who has nothing to learn or gain from the people around him, but can change or teach other people. To make this character really work for me, they've got to be deeply flawed individuals who would actually benefit from the company of other people and different perspectives. His morality cannot be treated as perfect. The writer should be willing to be critical, especially if this character is the hero/ine. Normally, I'd like to see the loner find love, friendship and their place in society and if he doesn't I think one should show the damage that this can cause. They may not know how to interact with other people. They can be socially/emotionally atrophied, but they should not be emotionally invulnerable. They should be lonely and seeking connection though in ways that are not always obvious...even to them.

Reconnecting or Redemption

One of my all time favorite kinks is when a character who is responsible for some seriously f'd up behavior has to come to terms with what they've done. Basically this is a character who tends to be very callous or cruel who has to learn to be more empathetic. I especially enjoy it when the character is incredibly brutal, an "empty-shell" or nihilistic and they have to find their humanity so to speak. Naturally, the road to redemption should be difficult and forgiveness and reconciliation should not come easily. There should even be occasions where it doesn't happen at all. Redemption and reconnection should be a lifelong struggle with many stumbling blocks, and sometimes even failure. Trust in this character must always be earned never given. People should not be easily impressed by his struggle. The character should absolutely NOT be saved by the healing power of WUV, which brings me to my next kink...

Love Does NOT Conquer ALL (Or if it does, it takes a lot blood, sweat and tears which may result in the lover being emotionally drained, hurt or fed up)

So if a character is selfish, cruel, bad boy or generally incorrigible I appreciate it when the author shows that love, whether it's the character who loves somebody or vice-versa, isn't enough to fix a person or make them change. In fact it's even better when their personality influences they way they love. For example, if a character who tends to be cruel loves somebody, their cruelty should extend to the beloved. He shouldn't just suddenly change and become all kindness and light just because he loves this person, necessarily. Or if a character is reserved, quiet or shy, then the way they show love may not be obvious. Basically characters and their personalities should not be changed so that they can fit some kind of romantic stereotype. If the character does change, there need to be other factors involved which bring about the change. If another character wants to love someone that is troubled, then there should be consequences and suffering if necessary, but this person should not be completely able to reform this individual with their love and nothing else.

I think I good example of this is the Comedian from Watchmen
Zuko from Avatar is another example. Iroh played a huge role in his redemption, but it didn't come easily. It took nearly the entire series.

Rains on the Just and the Unjust

Just because you are a good person doesn't mean you'll get rewarded for it. You may do the right thing and people may hate you for it. It may even get you killed. EVERYONE gets screwed over in one way or another. Sometimes the person who least deserves it gets exactly what they desire.

Watchmen is one good example of this type of story although concepts of "good" and "right" are up to interpretation.

Other examples are Berserk, Monster, Shin Angyo Onshi and A Song of Ice and Fire.


No Heroes/Shades of Grey

No one epitomizes good or bad. There are is no absolute good or evil. People are just that; people. The motives of all the characters are questionable. Even if the seem honorable they sometimes do questionable things to achieve their goals. This can also tie in to Raining on the Just and the Unjust since doing what is "right" may not always be what is pragmatic. Sometimes living by strict codes of honour can have terrible consequences, not just for the characters, but for others around them.

Best examples: A Song of Ice and Fire


Other favorites; Fall from Grace/Corruption and Simultaneous Love/Hate, Existential Crisis, Not So Happily Ever After

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Cute animals eating

it's all a joke


Nom Nom.

May. 4th, 2009

I'm jealous of that cigar
After watching X-Men Origins, I think that the second X-Men movie is still my favorite. It's not that I didn't enjoy this prequel. But Liev Schreiber who played Sabretooth was the best part of the movie. I mean sure Victor(Sabretooth) was psychotic, but I do think he loved James (Wolverine) even if he was insanely jealous of him.

I wish I could find a video of the opening credits with Victor and Logan fighting in various American wars together.

I love this man.


Transformers 2 Trailer

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May. 1st, 2009

Why so serious?
There are times when I am so lonely, I could burst. When I'm lonely, I read, go to the movies, eat or listen to music. At the moment I'm listening to Mozart's Requiem.


Requiem - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

And I'm not saying that to be pretentious. Before Mozart I listened to Miriam Makeba, Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald and Cab Calloway. They all helped. When I hear the music I don't feel quite so lonely anymore. Sometimes I just want to talk to someone so badly, but words seem so inadequate. And I feel selfish because people do not exist to make me feel better so I try to get through it on my own. Many of my activities are solitary. I surf the net alone, eat alone, read alone (even though I'd love to discuss the things I've read), listen to music alone, etc. I don't post about this regularly because I don't believe I have a bad life at all. I'm not satisfied with the position I'm in, but I believe I am slowly improving or at least working towards it. I don't feel overwhelmed by my life, but there are times when I wish that I didn't need people so much. I'm happiest in those moments where I'm enjoying my own company. When I can walk down the street on a bright and windy day and just be happy; I can look at the budding trees and feel peaceful. I enjoy the way the wind feels because I've gone without a coat for the first time in months. In those moments, I am satisfied and truly happy to be alive. And then there are moments like these when I'm alone in my room and I want to connect with people, but can't. And then I lay down in my bed wishing that I could hold somebody and that someone could hold me back and hoping that in the morning all of this will pass.

Perhaps, I'll watch Little Dorrit, now.

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I'm jealous of that cigar
eternal_llama
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